One Year Later...

grace noun \ˈgrās\

1-

• unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification 

2-

• mercy, pardon
• disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency

 

So here we are - my 1st anniversary blog post!  God first put this blog on my heart when my hubby and I decided to move forward with our plans to grow our family by fostering/adoption.  We contacted His House, attended an orientation meeting, started and completed our 8 week long licensing classes, and began the seemingly insurmountable stack of paperwork needed to complete our file.  Seemed like things were rolling along pretty smoothly...until they weren't.  There had been a huge time lag between when we first started the licensing process, and when our licensing coordinator actually seemed to be working actively on our file.  His House had a sibling pair, a brother and sister, that they thought would be a good match for our family.  In the same week we received our first referral from His House, my husband was let go from his job.  We are a single-income family, so no job for him means no income for our family.  One of the requirements for a fostering/adoption license is income verification.  So we were back to square one...We were pretty confident that he would find another job quickly, though, which had been our past experience the few times we've gone through job loss.  This wasn't our first time at this rodeo!  With a husband in Sales, this has just been part of the package at times, depending on the industry.  So in October of 2012, the job search began.  Doors would seemingly open, and then close.  Other doors would seem to be opening, and then close as well.  In December, His House was still in faith that my husband would be employed soon, so they approached us with a referral for another sibling pair, another brother and sister.  Even though our home study and licensing process had not been completed, we could still get to know them and see if this was the right fit for our family.  Just after Christmas of 2012, we began meeting with this sibling pair weekly, getting to know them and providing mentoring.  We were in faith that if this was a door the Lord was opening for us, He would provide the way for us to walk through, or close it shut if it was not meant for us. 

 

It has been just over six months since my husband lost his job.  I know there are folks that have been unemployed longer than that.  This is the longest time for our family, and it's been tough.  There have been glimmers of hope in that time, with job opportunities that have come and gone.  God's provision throughout this time has been amazing!  After multiple discussions with His House, both parties thought it would be best to put our license on "hold" until the employment/income component can be finalized.  Not sure if that also means our mentoring of this sibling pair is on "hold" also.  We're still in the process of figuring that out.  The mentoring process was not without its series of bumps in the road, as the younger of the two had severe emotional and behavioral issues.  I'm not going to lie to you - it was pretty intimidating!  I was encountering things I had yet to experience as a parent, and it was scary.  As we learned more about their case, we also learned about the possible logistics involved in fostering this particular sibling pair, with school pick-ups/drop-offs to consider, doctor and other specialist appointments, and all of these times 2 - one set of appointments for each sibling.  It was a tough time, just trying to process all of it, and it definitely brought to surface things we needed to evaluate and help us consider exactly what we'd be in faith for as a family.

 

I've learned a great deal this past year. I've learned that I'm not as "gracious" as I thought I was.  I mean, it's not like that was a really big surprise, mind you.  God just seemed to put that facet of my character under a 400% zoom lense this past year.  I'm always ready to accept part one of the definition of grace quoted at the beginning - that unmerited, amazing grace He so freely pours out on us in His Son.  Pour it on Lord!  It's the second part:  mercy, pardon, and the disposition to extend that to others.  Expecting the best of others.  Loving the unlovable - whether they are unlovable by most people's standards, or just unlovable as defined by my selfish motivation because they're not giving me what I want, or giving me something I DON'T want - is really hard for me to do.  I have to fight my flesh, every single time. I'd like to think I'm a pretty caring, patient, unselfish person, but I'm not. Left to myself, I'm a bratty, self-focused wretch. I need His strength, grace, and mercy every moment of every day. Where would I be if I DIDN'T need to fight for that grace, to battle my flesh for that righteousness that is promised to me in Christ?  It is in that weakness that I find my true strength, His strength.  "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."  2 Corinthians 12:9

 

I've also learned to be more comfortable with the unknown, and that it's okay to not have every single facet of a situation figured out perfectly.  That's a big deal for a control-freak like me.  Proverbs 19:21 tells us, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."  Isn't faith the "assurance of things hoped for"?  Am I truly "in faith" about a situation because I kinda'/sorta' have an inkling as to how God is going to move in that area?  I think not!        

 

So where are we now?  We are in faith that the call to foster/adopt is still from the Lord, so as soon as that door opens again, we shall step through in pursuit of it.  As far as it stands, it looks like the income/employment verification would be the final piece to that puzzle.  Recently, I was offered the opportunity to take on the role of Director for the homeschool program our family participates in, and my hubby has given me the double thumbs up to go for it.  My husband is still unemployed...sort of.  He was offered an opportunity to help a childhood friend of ours run a store that he is opening.  An opportunity at self-employment without having to invest our own massive amounts of financial capital?  The Lord isn't constrained by our limited perspective on how things should work out practically.  We have yet another door that seems to be opening in front of us.  We're looking down that hallway, past the open door, and we have no idea what to expect on our journey.  It could close suddenly, as so many others have recently...or it could just stay wide open for years to come.  Although it can be a bit nerve-wracking at times, we're excited, because we see God's hand throughout all of these situations.  Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Romans 8:28 also declares, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." These Scriptures fill me with hope, and reassure me that even though I may not know exactly what that hallway looks like as we cross through that open door, I can trust in the end result.  Because I love God, all things will work together for good because I am called according to His purpose.  Not because I say so or because my love for God will cause this..."For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)  It's His love for me in Christ that causes all to work for good.  That's why the Gospel is such Good News!  And resting in that - in Him - is a pretty fantastic place to be!

 

2 Corinthians 4:7-10, 16-18

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves;we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.
    
Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.  For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 

 

But the Greatest of These is Love

 Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,
but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV

God's love makes it possible and enables us to love one another, even to love one another like the scripture above highlights.  What does God's love look like?

 For God so loved the world,

that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him

should not perish but have eternal life.
 John 3:16 ESV 

 

Romeo and Juliet - eat your hearts out!  John 3:16 is THE ultimate picture and expression of love.  Let's not settle for what the world and society dictate love should be and look like.  That will leave us empty, and always longing for more.  The Lord's definition of love NEVER changes.  This Saint Valentine's Day*, let's resolve to focus on the only true love worth living for - the love of our Heavenly Father, that is ours in Christ. 

 



 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 ESV

 

*Over time the word "Saint" has been dropped from the title of the day, removing from society's memory the Christian reason for the celebration.  Instead of a negative reaction to the pagan origin of the day, let's reclaim and celebrate the meaning of true love that compelled young Valentine to give up his life.  This day commemorates a martyrdom, that of a young priest named Valentine.  History records that he was beheaded because he refused to renounce his faith in Christ.  The most famous legend goes on to tell how he wrote a note to the jailor's blind daughter, signing it, "From your Valentine."  The first valentine was really a Christian witness. 

~ excerpt from page 94 of Celebrating the Christian Year, by Martha Zimmerman.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Celebrating-Christian-Year-Building-Traditions/dp/1556613490

An Open Letter About Facebook, Instagram, and...SQUIRREL!

Well, the December Photo-A-Day Challenge has come and gone.  All in all, I enjoyed taking the time to capture different images throughout December, "bringing the blur into focus" as I had mentioned in my previous post.  I definitely captured tons of December memories, and was able to share them with all of "Instagram Land" using the app.  Then I got to thinking:  sure, I have friends that I know on Instagram, but for the most part, I'm sharing all of these "memories" with people that I don't know, or don't know very well, other than on an online/screen name basis.  Then THAT got me to thinking about who I really wanted to be sharing these memories with, how I shared them, and why.  Nothing against all of my Instagram friends (nothin' but love for y'all), but I spent so much time thinking about sharing all of my "memories" with a click of a button - what caption to write, getting just the right angle to "capture the moment" perfectly - that I didn't spend a whole lot of time just being in the moment of the memories I was sharing, and just enjoying them - anyone tracking with me?  Then THAT got me thinking about Facebook and my love/hate relationship with this very popular social networking site.  My original intent of staying "connected" with folks using Facebook has actually had quite the opposite result.  I feel LESS connected - less real connections with people, anyway.  Our interactions are based on quick "status updates" and commenting on or "liking" posts.  This all led to one pretty distracted Becky.  So I started questioning why I use these apps, why I felt the need to "check in" with them so often throughout my day, with my eyes glued to my "smart" phone or tablet...dreading that my kids would have that image of me permanently engraved in their minds, and hearing them call me on it with things like, "Mommy, you're always looking at your phone!" or "Mommy, you're always on the computer!"  Busted!  I knew the Lord was using all of these "thoughts" to show me that something had to change, which led me to my Facebook and Instagram sabbatical.  I deleted the apps from my phone, and hid them on my tablet.  It has definitely made for one much less distracted Becky, more focused on my calling in the here and now.  I've gotten a lot more reading done this past month, more than I have in a very long time.  My quiet time with the Lord is a lot less rushed.  I'm hoping this will also mean more time to write!  I'm also less distracted, in general.  I find that I have fewer random thoughts cluttering my mind.  In short - I'm less distracted!  I know that apps and sites like Facebook, Instagram, and the like serve a purpose for lots of people, and I am by no means wanting to bash or knock anyone's choice to do so.  My thoughts are simply that - my thoughts, and how the Lord is leading me in the area of distractions, and how He would have me focus on what is necessary, and what will not be taken from me.  That's not to say I don't visit my old "friends" from time to time.  But I'm realizing that these apps - these old "friends" - have become more like acquaintances.  Maybe even more like distant fourth cousins twice removed... 

 

Luke 10:38-42

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”  

Bringing the "Blur" Into Focus



 

I'm going to try something new - a photo challenge!  I discovered Instagram a few months back, and I absolutely LOVE this app.  I love how easy it is to capture quick photographic memories with my phone, and then just add a quick caption.  I LOVE to write, and have journaled quite a bit for over a decade.  I've also LOVED the idea of scrapbooking, and have done some from time to time. Somehow, the "idea" of scrapbooking seemed to stay as just that - an idea - without ever really feeling like I make any real progress...probably because I never really actually make any progress with my scrapbooks.  Taking pictures with my phone and writing quick captions seems so much more do-able for me right now.  Along comes Instagram, together with this blog, and I now have an online journal and photo scrapbook!  I've seen a few of my friends participate in November photo challenges, so I'm feeling pretty inspired to take one on in the month of December.  Instagram will store my daily photos with short and quick captions.  For those moments that require a little bit more than a short blurb about a photo, this blog will come in very handy.  The days are going by so quickly lately, with most days blurring into the next.  So thankful for tools that help me capture memories in the moment they happen, in a way that works best for my season of life right now, and to help bring a bit more focus to the blur of each day.  So join me as I "zoom in" each day in December...stay tuned!

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."  Psalm 90:12

Hurry Up...and Wait

Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!

Psalm 27:14

It's been a while since I've updated the blog.  Time flies when you're having fun...and waiting.  From enjoying a summer of fun (and check-ups), to the 2012-2013 school year being in full swing.  From completing our first Home Study Visit with His House...to still waiting for the whole Foster-to-Adoptive Licensing process to be completed.  Still waiting for the second Home Study Visit.  Still waiting for all of the necessary paperwork to be completed.  Still waiting.  Throw in a very pregnant and very sick licensing coordinator, some unexpected employment "snags", and that can lead to some pretty impatient and anxious waiting going on around here!  I mean, I thought we had heard pretty clearly from the Lord that He was calling us to grow our family this way.  So how am I to "be strong, and let my heart take courage" as I wait for the Lord, as the Scripture quoted at the onset states?  Well, I think one way is to look at the verse right before this one which exclaims, "I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!"  So I guess one way to be strong and courageous is to look upon the Lord and His goodness.  Look back at His goodness and faithfulness in my life, to then fuel my vision to look forward with courage and confidence, as I wait on the Lord and His plan for my life - wherever His plan leads, however long it takes.  Hebrews 11:1 tells me that "... faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." So I shall continue to be sure of my hope in Christ, of my conviction of things that I can't see, because eternity awaits in the unseen.  Faith is being SURE of that hope.  And when I'm not sure of that hope and am wavering in my faith, Psalm 27:7 reminds me - "Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me!"  And amazingly, yet wonderfully, THAT gives me strength and courage!  

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:16-18
     

Is There a Doctor in the House?

Along with swimming, sleeping in, and week-long Monopoly games, our summer break also needs quite a few activities that are not quite as fun, but just as important: medical check ups.  These past few weeks have been filled with various doctor and dental appointments.  Some reports were good - no cavities, hooray!  Other check ups led to referrals for additional procedures for some of us - MRI, mammogram, and a labial frenectomy (I had to look that one up!)  Definitely not fun, but very necessary.   We also had our first Home Study visit with our His House Licensing Specialist.  That "check up" was actually pretty fun!  Pictures were taken of every nook and cranny of our home - every room inside and out, along with every view and angle.   We were also interviewed and had to answer tons of questions about what our childhoods were like, how we met, highlights and low points of our lives, why we want to foster/adopt...just to name a few.

All these check ups got me thinking about what a spiritual "check up" would entail.  What would an appointment with "Dr. God" look like?  What should it look like?  How often should I have that check up?  It should happen more often than annually, I would hope!  Should I be the one to "make the call" to set up an appointment, or should I wait for a "reminder" call from His "office"?  May I not be as reluctant with these check ups as I am with my dental appointments!

Commencement

Well, it's official - as of about 3 weeks ago, we have completed the 21 hours necessary for our foster/adoption license through His House.  Hooray!  We completed one phase and now, we're on to the next phase: a phase filled with paperwork and documentation, background checks, and home study visits.  So much uncharted territory and so many unknown variables!  Coincidentally, as we were "graduating" from our coursework, several of our friends had graduates of their own, as their children were graduating from high school and moving on to life as a college student.  It paralleled our graduation in so many ways.  Such an exciting time, filled with so many choices and decisions to make.  New responsibilities and challenges abound, with opportunities for success and failure at every turn.  It can be a little intimidating.  Who am I kidding - it can be overwhelmingly daunting at times!  But it is in the midst of these times - the times when I am brought to the end of "myself" and all that I am comfortable and familiar with, when the path ahead is unknown and clouded with all of the things I "see" before me - that I am brought to a place where I cling to the Lord even more.  Reminds me of the Scripture in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 that says "So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."  For now, we will choose to "press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:14)  Only in His strength, and all for His glory!